a needed post

I am finding myself to be so challenged lately. I am doing a lot of reflecting and examining of who I am, who I want to be and who I am not. I have so many goals, but most times I find that they are my plans and not the Lord's. I just finished school in Decemeber and I have been blessed with a good job thanks to that education. So why can't I slow down and appreciate the life I have instead of looking for the next academic commitment. I try to tell myself that that is just who I am.. but I think my motives are off. I want time to be the wife that my husband deserves and the friend I've always wanted to be and now I am hungering to follow passionately after my Jesus.

Matt & I visited the Church on Rush Creek this morning with Mer, Justin, David and Britt. The message was similar to others I have heard, the music was familiar and the early greeting is always the same. However, I felt more relaxed, I felt like I could hear Him better. My friend Sarah is in the middle of a soul cleaning by cleaning out the clutter from her home and life. I feel in need of this. Because in the last year and half Matt and I have joined all of our possessions, moved and gotten married, we have so much STUFF. We have a room full of stuff and garage full of stuff. Sometimes I close the door to that room just so I don't have to look at all of that stuff that is hardly being used.. but rather "stored."

I will be off this week and then Matt and I will be headed on our much anticipated honeymoon. When I come home I will be working part time with Chai Hui and also preparing for the coming school year. I would really love it if I could get myself to do just a little bit a day until the clutter is gone. I need to rid myself of a few things, actually way more than just a few.

This morning the pastor was mainly speaking to the men in the congregation. (Next week he will be speaking to the women and we will be gone! At least we can hear the message online.) He told the men "you do know that your family and your marriage and your wives are all under attack, don't you?" Sometimes thoughts will come into my mind and I can't help but think "this feels like an attack from the enemy to steal my joy and my peace." The Lord knows that we are under attack, and He has given us tools to block the fiery arrows. He gives us the armor... we need the full armor of God. We have His word, we have His Spirit. When the attacks come, I want to pray, I want to trust, and usually I want to melt into Matthew and hear that everything is okay.

I have been given such an amazing husband to be my partner throughout my life. I want to pray for his heart and know that he will be under attack. The enemy wants to either destroy our marriage or keep it mediocre. The Lord wants us to experience a joy and a love that will blow us away.. I choose the latter. I will choose Matthew.. every time. I will be his girl and his partner and teammate.

I need a concrete step that I can take. My flesh is battling me even as I type this post. Right now I am going to publish this post and go sit with my husband. I have so enjoyed spending so much time with him this weekend. It feels like a honeymoon preview! We can't wait and I will be sure to post photos.

Love,
L. Norris